How you approach a woman can decide if you will succeed
or fail. You need to be able to approach a woman if you want to
pick her up. That is why it is so important to initiate
conversations. In order to get where you want, it is very
important to remember that if you don't initiate anything,
nothing will happen. Sure, there is a chance when you are
starting off that you will not succeed, but practice makes
perfect! How are you supposed to win the lottery without
purchasing a ticket?
The most common mistake made when approaching
women is when a man takes his time, looks at his target,
checks her out for a while, throws a few smiles and after a few
minutes of getting the courage to approach her, walks up to her
and tries to start a conversation. That is all wrong! If you want
to pick up women, you must show confidence. When going after
a woman, it is fine to take your time and set up the proper
approach, but as soon as you make eye contact with that girl,
you only have a matter of seconds to make your move. This
could be as simple as a smile or even a smirk, but whatever
your reaction is to the eye contact, you have 3-5 seconds to
move. If you see a girl at a coffee shop you want to pick up, and
she lifts her head and looks at you with a smile, that's your cue.
If you wait, it will be too late. You can't give her time to think and
you want to show initiative as well as courage. And remember to
never make it seem like you are approaching her to pick her up.
A successful seducer will always let the woman think that she is
picking you up. It makes them feel they are in control and that
they know what they want. Meanwhile, you are manipulating the
entire pick up.
Back to the girl in the coffee shop. She looks at you and
she sees you looking at her. That's where you make your move.
You walk straight up to her and say something. What do you
say? Well, the last thing you want to do is go and compliment
her, or make it seem like you are trying to make her have a
conversation with you. A good example of something that has
been successful is, "you know, coffee really isn't good for you!"
and nod your head. Then as soon as you are done, turn away
without giving her a chance to reply. What did you just do? First
off, you completely erased any thought in her head that you are
trying to pick her up. What you also did was break the ice; you
have now already made a first contact, so you can plan the rest
of the pick up in a little more detail. Remember, you have to
approach her in a matter of seconds. That could have been as
soon as you walked into that door and saw her, so you have to
be on your toes at all times!
Now there she is, thinking to herself, "who is that guy?
Why did he come u p to me and say that? Does he think he is
better then everyone?" This is what you want. She is thinking
about you; it doesn't matter what she is thinking, good or bad,
because you can easily change her thoughts of you at any time.
Now you are in line, and you order yourself a coffee as you had
intended on doing before you had even walked in. You have a
coffee in your hand; walk back to the woman that has been
thinking about you since you first approached her. She might
even at this point continue into a conversation such as, "I
thought coffee was bad for you?" or something of the sort. You
have just started yourself a conversation. Even if she doesn't
say anything, you can repeat yourself and say, "yup, coffee sure
is bad for you!" and make a joke out of it. Either way, you broke
the ice and are ready to continue with the pick up. (We will
discuss how to continue after the approach in a later chapter.)
Once you break the ice, you make it possible to enter a
conversation. Sometimes you may be talking nonsense for a few
minutes until you can get something rolling. Remember, once
you make that eye contact, you have to do something! Some
people often back down at this point because they can't come
up with anything to say. How many times have you been in a
situation were you saw a girl you wanted, and stood there
thinking, "what should I say to her?" Next thing you know, it's too
late. The truth is, you don't have to come up with anything
clever at all, as long as you break the ice right away. An alpha
male doesn't take his time; he is confident and goes for what
he wants. You don't have to worry about what you say; just say
something! You can get things rolling later, as long as you get
something going on. Thinking back on a personal experience, I
once spotted a woman sitting on a park bench while taking a
jog. She looked at me, so I immediately stopped and almost
froze, thinking, "you have to say something now, but what?" So I
just said anything I could think of which was, "you shouldn't go
to the casino if you don't like to gamble!" She then all of a
sudden started talking about how her ex-boyfriend had a
gambling problem.
One thing led to the next, and I had one
more check mark on my list of accomplishments.
The only secret in the approach is to always initiate right
away. The sooner, the better. You can say almost anything, as
long as you say something. Sometimes, you will have to dig
yourself out of a hole if you come out as too much of an ass.
But it's better to be thought of as an asshole, than it is to fail.
Here are a few ice breakers that have always worked for us:
- Your shoes don't match your purse you know!
- The grocery store down the street is all out of apples!
I'm really not impressed!
- You don't think you're a little over-dressed / underdressed
to be in here?
It doesn't matter what you say at all. As long as it
generates a reply; that's the key. You may have to be creative
and come up with a good reply to whatever she says, but you
can't get into a conversation if you don't make her say anything
back to you.
When thinking of an ice breaker, you have to target the
right one for the right woman. The better looking she is, the
more cocky and confident she will be. Therefore, the more of an
ass you seem, the more success you will have. She will be
confused as to why you are putting her down, when every other
man keeps telling her how beautiful she is. If you say a negative
ice breaker to a woman with a lower self confidence, she may
be really hurt and defend herself. Every woman is different, and
you will never get the same reply to an ice breaker twice. You
never know what she will reply. Always be on top of things, and
you must answer her reply quickly.
At one point or another, every seducer comes across the
girl that tells them about their husband or boyfriend. The typical
mistake at this point is to back off right away. First of all, if you
didn't come off too strong, they shouldn't be mentioning
anything. That means they sensed they were being picked up.
When this happens, just continue a friendly conversation and
then go on your way. If you back down right away, you let
everyone know you have been defeated, belittling your position
as alpha male. When a man backs away after a woman tells
him she is taken, he is basically telling everyone that he was
trying to pick her up and failed. Don't think of this as a failure;
just ask yourself, "did I come off too strong? What could I have
done differently?" Also, you never know who her friends are.
From experience, it is always best to continue a friendly
conversation as you never know when she will say, "you know, I
don't know if you'd be interested, but I have a friend who would
want to get to know you." Also, it has happened before that a
woman was standing off and said she had a boyfriend. After 5
minutes or so of continuing the conversation, she apologized
that she lied because she had been hurt in the past. She then
gave away her phone number without me even having to try for
it!
An important aspect to remember during the approach is
to always break the ice after eye contact. If you stay calm,
confident and have a bit of arrogance in the way you approach
her, you will be able to start a conversation leading to a pick up
no matter what line you use. But please! Never use a
compliment or a "cheesy pick up line" to break the ice. If she
knows you are seducing her, your chances have been greatly
reduced.
